Scenes, Sounds, Scents and ……Ships? Huh?

You’re probably thinking I’m losing it after reading that title, but I’m really not! Let me explain. All day (and night) every day, we are bombarded by stimuli that register on our 5 senses—sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. I believe we also have a sixth sense that I would call intuition or vibration, but for the purposes of this discussion, let’s stick to the usual 5. So you may be wondering where the ships come into it. Well, ships have anchors that hold them in place, and you have anchors that hold your nervous system in particular emotional states. Your anchors come through your 5 senses.
 
How Anchors Work

Most anchors are installed unintentionally when some sensory input is associated with a feeling or emotion. The more intense the emotion or feeling, the stronger the anchor.
 
For example, if you’ve ever been on a diet, you might remember being advised not to do anything else while you eat. Did you ever wonder why? It’s because the other activity becomes an anchor to the feeling that it’s time to eat, independent of whether or not you are hungry. If you regularly do some additional activity while you eat, your nervous system begins to associate the action of eating with that other activity, and the activity becomes a trigger for the desire to eat. So if you always have the television on while eating, every time you turn on the television you feel like you want food. If you always read the newspaper with breakfast, then reading the newspaper at the table might make you feel like eating breakfast food. If you regularly stop for fast food while driving your car, your local burger drive through may seem like a siren calling your name when you see one up ahead on the next block. These activities aren’t particularly intense, but they happen repeatedly, and become anchors.
 
This doesn’t only happen with eating, of course. There are an infinite number of potential anchors—positive and negative. If you’ve ever gotten a speeding ticket, you might get a sense of unease whenever you pass the location you were stopped by the police, for instance. That’s a high intensity event that only needs to happen once to become an anchor. Or maybe a particular song was playing when the love of your life proposed to you and every time you hear that song, you feel excited and happy. Again, that’s a high intensity event, so once is enough to make that song an anchor for those feelings.
 
Empty Nest Anchors to be Aware of

As an empty nester you may find that walking by the empty bedroom that used to house your child is a trigger for you. A glimpse of your son’s favorite poster on the wall, or the vague scent of your daughter’s shampoo remaining on the pillow can easily become an anchor to feeling lonely or sad, if you let it. Something like driving your old carpool route or towards the piano teacher’s house could be an anchor, or even passing a particular food in the supermarket. Pay attention when you suddenly notice yourself feeling out of sorts or lonely and see if you can identify an anchor.
 
On the other hand, pay attention to what makes you feel good, too, so you can repeat it! Maybe the song that you and your daughter belted out along with the radio in the car still makes you feel like singing. I have a mug that reminds me of my son and puts a smile on my face every time I use it. And there are some funny experiences I’ve had that are such strong laughter anchors that just thinking about them makes me chuckle. What are some of your positive anchors?
 
Are You Stuck With Your Anchors?

Nope. Negative anchors can be “collapsed,” which is a neuro-linguistic programming technique to take away the power of a negative anchor by replacing it in your neurology with something positive. And you can also erode a negative anchor by intentionally changing your internal dialogue when you are exposed to the anchor. For instance, when you spot that poster in your son’s room, remember how excited he was when you gave it to him, and put a smile on your face as you remind yourself of the big grin on his. You’ll feel better, and if you do that consistently, your feeling when you see the poster will start to shift.
 
Positive anchors can be intentionally set, as well. This is something you can practice in my “From Being Mom to Being Me” program, and I’ll address in detail in another article.
 
Start to notice your own anchors. Which sense provides your strongest anchors? Are there some you’d like to collapse? Are there some you’d just love to experience more of? I’m looking forward to finding out what some of your anchors are.