Does “how is your health?” seem like an odd question for a blog written with empty nesters in mind? Maybe so, but it’s something I want to talk about with you, and maybe get you thinking about in a new way.
So here’s the deal. Even though I don’t practice medicine anymore, I get several journals and a lot of public health emails every month. I still read them because often they hold information that can help me help you. Just today, something came across my desk that I first heard and adopted nearly 35 years ago. It’s one of those rare things in medicine that hasn’t changed in the past 35 years, and I want to share it with you. It’s the World Health Organization’s definition of health: “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
So with that definition of health in mind, how is your health?
A Not-so-Boring Statistic….
According to the most recent National Health Interview survey I could find (from 2008), only 54% of baby boomer age women reported their health as excellent or very good. Don’t you think that’s a pretty sad number? Especially if you aren’t part of that 54%! Now the question was a subjective question about overall health, so even if they didn’t realize it, the women who answered that question were probably including physical, mental and social components all rolled into one. So, I wonder if you were to rate your overall health, would you be part of that 54% with excellent or very good health? What could you do to improve it, if you’re not part of the 54%? You probably already know a bunch of things to do, but if not, your doctor or any women’s magazine will have some suggestions. If you need help to make some changes or stick with them, find a buddy so you can keep each other motivated, or find a good coach to help.
Boosting Your Mental Well-Being
Mental well-being is about how you react emotionally and cope with your body and your life. When things don’t go the way you want or expect, how do you handle that? Do you get depressed and down? Do you have a fatalistic attitude and just figure that’s the way it always is for you and you shouldn’t expect anything better? Do you get angry at the world? Or do you look for positive aspects like what you can learn or how to do it differently the next time?
Start with just these three keys to boosting your mental well-being:
- 1. Find something to be grateful for. When you can look at a situation you didn’t expect or don’t want, however bad it seems, and find something to be grateful for, your mental state will improve. That’s just the way it works. It doesn’t matter whether something really nasty has happened or life just seems too dull and boring for you to be happy. Find something big or small to appreciate.
- 2. Let go of blame and judgment. It may seem like those feelings are justified and maybe they are. But the thing is, that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter whether they are justified or not. What matters is that if you hold on to them, it’s you that suffers. And that’s not the outcome you want, is it?
- 3. Be responsible for your own feelings. Don’t wait for someone else to make you feel good. Just as a “for instance,” fresh flowers always cheer me up. I used to feel it was wrong to buy myself flowers. I’d get them from my husband sometimes, and feel really happy and special, but it seemed wrong somehow to buy them for myself. Now if I see a beautiful bouquet that calls to me, I buy it. Why not? It doesn’t make his gifts any less important. It just means I value myself, too.
Sometimes You Wanna Go Where Everybody Knows Your Name
The last component of health is social. Women in particular, are social beings. We don’t just like to talk with each other—we need to talk and hang out with each other. Studies have shown that women’s friendships are extremely important to our well-being. And this is actually one of the areas where empty nesters often suffer. It’s easy to get into a pattern of feeling isolated because we don’t want to share the embarrassment of feeling unhappy or confused or without a purpose. If that’s you, reach out and find someone to talk with. Call a friend or someone you haven’t seen for a while and get together for coffee. Join a club or find a meet-up near you. Or if you need help, call me to set up a “From Being Mom to Being Me” strategy session, and we’ll work together to set up a plan for you.
As the WHO said so many years ago, physical, mental and social well-being (and also spiritual I would say, although that isn’t part of the WHO definition of health) all work together to make up your level of health. If one or more is a weak point for you, your overall well-being and your life suffer. Make it a point to consider the quality of these aspects of your life and come up with a plan to strengthen anything that’s weak. If I can help, let me know ’cause I’d love to play a part in making that 54% go up a lot higher!
I so love your three points of mental well being Dorine. They are 3 of my 11 Pillars of Awesome Abundance aka Universal Laws! Home run for you. Plus you are very wise to recognize the absolute need for women in particular to socialize. Your article is right on target to my ideal clientele, Baby Boomers. Thanks for a great article.
Lynn
I appreciate your comment Lynn. I’ll have to check out your 11 Pillars of Awesome Abundance! It’s so clear to me that we really need all the pieces in the WHO definition to be working to have our best and healthiest lives. Of course, they all work together, so we’re lucky to be able to start making changes anywhere.
Great article Dorine, I especially like the 3 points you mention for mental well being. I agree women need to socialize. I love being with my friends once a month at The Goddess Connection, a place where we have fun first and then “Live in Oneness to Vibrantly Evolve.” Our legacy is LOVE http://www.thegoddessconnection.net
Thanks Joyce. That socializing piece is such an important one for us. What a treat that you have somewhere called The Goddess Connection to meet with your friends. I love that! I’m going to keep that name in mind as something to start here somewhere down the road!
Excellent article and reminder that we must not leave ourselves behind, which can and does happen. I am grateful for my life in all aspects and for me my daughter taught me this through her having been born with a chronic life threatening disease.
I have also been out of balance as far as physical exercise goes and keep feeling guilty about it. Even thought I know how important it is, this article has given me a nudge. Thank you Dorine a very very important subject.
x
Hey Julie–something I didn’t say in the post is not to beat yourself up about the things you aren’t doing yet! I’m glad I gave you a nudge, but please stop feeling guilty. It doesn’t help your well-being. Not blaming or judging goes for yourself too!
As someone that owns an integrative health center, I am so excited to see the support for a holistic definition of health: physical, mental and social well being. I would also add spiritual health to that definition (in whatever form that takes for the individual) which can be supported through practices such as yoga, meditation and mindfulness processes. For me, that is my most difficult component of health to foster. You are right, 54% of women rating themselves as healthy is so telling and so sad. I love that you give easy ways for people to boost their health in each area. Thanks for this!
Hi Katie. It’s interesting that the WHO definition didn’t include a spiritual component. I think perhaps at the time it was developed, “spiritual” probably was interpreted as “religious.” While I add it to my own definition, I think we could almost include it with mental health. Although you can access training, coaching or classes in the three disciplines you mention in a variety of ways, they are often available as part of mental health services in a medical setting,too.
Your message brings to the forefront of our minds the importance of gratitude, forgiveness and taking personal responsibility in our lives Dorine. Constant reminders of living a healthy life on the inside and outside. Thank you for sharing.
It seems even those of us most dedicated to our health and well-being still need reminders sometimes! Thanks for your comment, Susan.
Love this post, Dorine! And I love your 3 points for emotional well-being…I can’t be reminded enough to be grateful, and I don’t know any more important suggestion than taking responsibility for our lives…in all ways! Owning my feelings and actions as mine, not blaming them on anyone else, and then doing what it takes to make positive changes is my prescription for happiness! Thanks so much for the reminder (and you’re such a great writer!).
I know that you know first hand about these points, Tricia, and I appreciate the synopsis–and the kind words about my writing! Thanks so much.